profile Firmly believes in life after death. Secretly addicted to Gossip Girl & ATNM (oh, the shame). Finds painting own nails therapeutic. Takes an eternity to make a decision. Likes to swim. Fancies self as seasoned chef in manner of Masaharu Morimoto. Hates driving during rush hour. Feels happiest waking up to bright sunny mornings. Is afraid of cockroaches and balloons. Dislikes awkward silence. Buys too many dresses and not enough comfortable shoes. Is convinced that people only appreciate what they have to work hard for. tagboard archives February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 August 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 skin by: Jane |
Thursday, May 21, 2009 @ 11:23 AM
Angels & Demons For two consecutive nights after watching the movie, I found myself speaking in Latin, deciphering Galileo’s poems alongside Professor Langdon and tracking down pagan statues that leads to the oldest meeting place of one of the most elusive secret societies in the history of man. Even though I enjoyed the book much more than the movie, I must’ve liked the movie more than I realized (consciously) to be dreaming about it so much. Wednesday, May 20, 2009 @ 1:46 PM
Old people fall in love too ‘You think I should move in with him?’ I looked up from the computer screen, slightly taken aback. ‘I’m sorry?’ ‘With my ojisan (uncle in japanese, nickname for her boyfriend in this case)’. I tried to think of a proper response. ‘Oh… why not? It’s only natural, I guess.’ Considering you’re both 60 years old and widowed. What are you worried about, parental disapproval? I refrained from sharing this last thought. ‘You think so? It’s just that I’ve been thinking…’ she continued, leaving me to wonder for the n-th time throughout the past two weeks why my boss finds it appropriate to discuss with me the most intimate details of her relationship with her newfound love, Mr. Ojisan. How he proposed to her after only five months of dating (but then again, when you’re sixty, I assume you’d prefer things to happen quickly), how he bought her a diamond-encrusted Rolex watch, how she hasn’t been able to sleep properly since dating him… Because she’s not used to having someone lying next to her after sleeping alone for the past five years. NOT because they’ve been doing the deed every night, OMG it’s so much more disturbing than imagining my parents having sex. She tells me how much he occupies her thoughts day-in-day-out, how she has lost her interest in everything else even work, how she wants to start driving again so that they could meet more often (she hasn’t driven for more than twenty years, and not once in Malaysia), how she plans to learn golf to accompany Ojisan coz he’s such a good golfer… She’s confused by how much he consumes every part of her life, and more than a little embarrassed to realize how readily she’s been to change herself for the man, especially how she has lost her drive to maintain the business. These things don’t seem so important anymore, she confided in me, it’s like everything pales in comparison to him. After getting over the shock of hearing the intricacies of a 60-year-old couple’s love life, I realized that the idea of having something in common with me makes her feel young again. She used to roll her eyes at me and sometimes even visibly disapprove of me getting off work right on the dot, giving snide remarks about how young girls like me care too much about dating and not enough about work; now she waves me off with a knowing smile, casually bringing up the date she has planned after work as well. Whenever she talks about her boyfriend problems, she speaks in hushed tones and gives me the you-know-what-i-mean winks like we’re the only members of an exclusive club. I suppose young or old, we all act the same when we first plunge into a relationship. Irrational, impulsive, and hopelessly out of control. I’m just glad she got a boyfriend to keep her happy in the clouds till my last day or work here. Tuesday, May 19, 2009 @ 4:42 PM
What's the rush? To be honest, and this is not easy for me to admit, I’d been feeling the pressure to ‘seal the deal’. The first time I heard a friend my age getting married, my reaction was goodness aren’t we a tad too young to settle down? The second I found out of another peer’s wedding, I thought maybe they know something I didn’t. But after the fourth and the fifth time, I started wondering if I was the one who was not getting with the program. Oh, not to mention the interrogations have started. From aunties, uncles, friends of my parents’… I’d always been one of the youngest in most family occasions, so I have been spared of these incessant and invasive questioning from the oldies while my elder siblings took the heat. But now that my brother’s married with a kid, and my sister’s nowhere near firing squad… ‘So when’s your turn?’ ‘You’re not that young anymore you know…’ So I got flustered after a while. I didn’t put a gun on the boyfriend’s forehead and drove him to the nearest Poh Kong, but the issue came up from time to time. I liked how things were going, but well-meant(?) comments and observations from the outside have prompted me to wonder if I was being too complacent with things. I felt like Jennifer Aniston in that chick flick He’s Just Not That Into You, only it was ridiculous for me think this way because my relationship was only ten months old, not ten years like hers. Then I had a conversation with a BFF of mine, and what she said showed me how blindsided I have been by all these things that I have allowed to bother me. You don’t get married because everyone else expects you to. Or because you want to be one of the first to do so. Or because you want take pretty wedding pictures to put on Facebook. Or because you feel like playing house with your boyfriend. It was so simple. You decide to marry only when the man is willing to love the wife as Christ has loved the church, to love her as he loves himself, to give himself up for her, and only when the woman is willing to respect and submit to the husband in everything, as the church submits to Christ. Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Friday, May 08, 2009 @ 2:27 PM
Face of Irony Sometimes you just amaze me. Why? Coz you look so sweet and nice, but the things that you say sometimes… You think I’m being cruel? Well yeah. Coz I called XXXX a manslut? LOL. But I just say these things to make you laugh. I don’t mean half the things I say. I know I know… It’d be boring if I’m as nice and innocent as I look, no? Yeah... It's just such a contradiction to hear such things coming out of your mouth. @ 12:33 PM
Matchmaking Aftermath I hear from her everyday. Emails, SMSes, calls throughout the day. She calls me if the guy so much as sneezes, bombards my inbox with long, detailed word-for-word account of their phone conversations at night, SMSes me when I don’t pick up her incessant calls. I admit, it was mildly amusing at first; I was curious of the progress of my first (and very possibly last, omg the after-sales service is so not worth the good deed) matchmaking attempt, but after the second phone call at 10 in the morning, I am ready to storm over to her office, grab the phone attached to her ear and fling it to a very hard, sturdy wall. So he calls you sounding incoherent and drunk at midnight. So he’s started calling you ‘dear’ over the phone. So he didn’t call you when he promised you he would. So he called even when you didn’t expect him to. Stop asking me what any of this means! How am I supposed to know what he means when he insisted on being your ‘special boyfriend’ while you remain as only his ‘friend’? How in the world am I to understand your petty bickerings and flirty fights between the two of you? And please don’t even start giving me a blow-by-blow of your arguments. I don’t even want to know. I don’t need to know what kind of silly jokes you guys share, how the jokes started and how the jokes didn’t start. Nor do I need to know the reason he forgot to reply your email, send you a good night SMS, etc. You guys only met two weeks ago and things seem to be going in a favorable direction. Honestly, I’m happy for you. But I really don’t need to hear from you every 10 hours. Give the matchmaker a break, would you? Thursday, May 07, 2009 @ 2:47 PM
Updates Quit my job. Lady boss took it surprisingly well – I suppose her getting a boyfriend recently has mellowed her somewhat. She’s been so nice lately that I almost began to have doubts about my resignation. Almost. New job is about 20 minutes away from my house, and that is including traffic congestion. Parking there is predictably going to be hell, but the people seem nice (don’t they always though..?) and the pay sounds decent. The irony is that we’re going to move out of the house in a couple of months, so one of the merits of this new job might just be cancelled out. Another irony is that I got a few more job interviews after I accepted the offer, in places even nearer to my current house, and in fields that pique my interest a fair bit too. Will continue to go to the interviews, just to get exposure and name cards if nothing else. Sis is coming back end of this month! Had arranged job transition period that will spare me two weeks to hang out with her. Might be less than that as sis is flying off to Japan to visit her high school best friend during the same week, but will make the most of the time we have together. Did a match-making stint a couple of weeks ago, and the two specimens seem to be getting along much better than I’d initially thought. Kudos to self for going with nagging instinct to set these two single hearts up, despite the language barrier and culture differences. Goes to show that fate is nothing but female instincts on proactive mode. Next project? G-Sh…. Ehehe. The boyfriend and I are flying to JB and Singapore this weekend for my cousin’s wedding. And meet up with Su. Am excited but nervous as well. Keep imagining myself getting diarrhea throughout the weekend and having boyfriend lying on a bed two feet away from me as I relieve myself ‘noisily’ in the hotel bathroom. Though is silly to be shy about these things with a man who’d seen long strands of drool trickling from the corner of my mouth. Tuesday, April 21, 2009 @ 12:36 PM
Marmalade The evening sunlight spilled through the huge windows, paying no heed to the sheer, lacy curtains fluttering gently against the glass. White, homey tables and chairs, a long glass display exposing glorious cakes, dainty cupcakes and scones, a colorful mural wall with paintings of trees and birds and butterflies – everything seemed to be set in slow motion, bathing in a warm, relaxed glow that seemed out of place in the city. A few customers were scattered throughout the spacious dining area, the atmosphere unhurried, peaceful. I turned to the man sitting next to me, his crisp purple sleeves folded neatly up to his elbows, his company tag still hung over his collared neck. He was picking on toffee-drenched bananas slices on top of the Banofee cake. I let out a sigh, my heart so full it felt ready to burst. I wanted to etch this moment, every seemingly unremarkable moment of this day into my memory, to be able to revisit this feeling. I wished I could somehow bottle up this concoction of happiness, peace, contentment that I chanced upon today. Sitting in the car, listening to the Pagi crew’s crazy antics, catching each other’s eyes and laughing even though we were stuck in morning traffic. Finding his car waiting right outside, he waiting patiently with an elbow resting on the window edge. Filling each other with details of our day at work as soon as I clasped my seatbelt shut. Having a dinner date on a working Monday. Now. This very moment, slurping on a Paw Paw Passion in a restaurant I’d wanted to try for months, fretting over the pesto flecks stuck in between my teeth after the boyfriend casually brought it to my attention. Monday, April 20, 2009 @ 2:58 PM
It's the Pits Do you love me enough to lick my armpits? Sunday, April 19, 2009 @ 2:54 PM
My 'First Time' The boyfriend and I have gone on to another level in our relationship. It’s been a mental struggle for me, going back and forth with my decision, a constant battle between what I want and what is right. What if everything changes after we did it? What happens if we never can see each other the way we used to after doing it? Will it strengthen our relationship, or ruin whatever we have worked all along to preserve? This step could possibly change the dynamics of our entire relationship, and all I can hope for is that the change is for the better and not for worse. I didn’t feel rational enough to make the decision myself, and yet there wasn’t anyone I could talk to about such a private and potentially embarrassing topic. I finally took the plunge without having reached any concrete solutions. Some things you just have to forge ahead and not overthink them. So I let the boyfriend join me in the fitting room when I was trying on clothes in the mall. It happened so naturally, and so quickly. One moment I was walking towards the changing rooms with a blue top in my arm, and the next thing you know we were But the boyfriend couldn’t have been more thoughtful throughout the whole process; gentle enough to keep me relaxed, sensitive toward my needs and requests. We completely connected on a different level, a sense of intimacy like nothing I have ever encountered. My first time trying on clothes in front of the boyfriend in a public fitting room, and I'll never forget every minute of it. Friday, April 17, 2009 @ 3:28 PM
He's just not that into you I finally watched the movie. And I liked it. Sweet but not cheesy, funny without being stupid. And so, so true. Not all of it, of course. I don’t believe MySpace is the new booty call, for starters. But the scene where the three girls were gathered at Beth’s(Jennifer Aniston) desk, and Gigi came bustling in with- MONALISA SMILE. That’s where I’d seen that actress (Gigi) before! Gosh I’d been trying to recall that movie title since I left the cinema. And Ben was the masochistic walking ego from Wedding Crashers, and Kelli Ann was one of the feather-brained girlfriends from White Chicks. Feels good to finally get that off my mind. Not unlike how one feels after picking out that annoying piece of pie crust that was stuck in between your molars for half an hour. To be honest, I’d started off wanting to dissect the movie and its theories, and complain about how exposed I feel after the movie because it was obviously an unauthorized documentary piece of my life, but then I figured the movie’s been reviewed and talked about to death so I’ll just settle with some of my favorite quotes from the movie: ‘I want to make you happy. I need to make you happy, in order to even have a shot at being happy myself.’ ‘I need you to stop being nice to me unless you’re going to marry me.’ ‘I love you. Even if I get pissed off, or angry or upset with you, I’ll never stop loving you.’ ‘So am I the rule or the exception? - You’re my exception.’ ‘Am I… will I be Al Pacino in this scenario?’ ‘If you can find him, he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.’ OK one of these quotes doesn’t belong to the movie. Can you tell which one? Hehee~ |