Are we really that special?
Sometimes we prefer to believe that we're unique, that our situations are completely new and no one else has ever experience what we have. Especially when it comes to relationships.
*You can change the plural 'we' to 'I' if you're more comfortable with that.
I've watched couples. I always do, for some reason. When I'm walking in shopping malls, looking for seats in a coffee shop, anywhere I'm at, my eyes, like
flies attracted to rotten fruits bees zooming toward a pot of honey, tend to rest upon the blissfully happy couples (oh you know how they look, don't bluff; they're everywhere). The girl would be wiping something off the guy's lips, her chin leaning on his shoulders; the guy's hands resting protectively on the girl's hips - I can think of many more examples, juz like that. Then I turn to look at Keong and I wonder.
Are we all that different?
I'd always have this need to be unique, especially in this case. I need to know that we're not like any other couple, that we're as mundane as other couples coz like everyone else, I think we have something special. I can't bear the thought that I'm fooling myself, that people just see us as another icky, self-absorbed couple when they see me picking pieces of pork out of my bowl and into his, when he hugs me from behind unexpectedly, when we laugh at some crazy thing that nobody else saw but us.
I refuse to be just another lovesick girl. I'm not. I can't stand those patronizing smiles, those oh-she's-in-so-deep-we-can't-even-talk-to-her kinda headshakes. I can't bear the thought of being looked at as one of those run-of-the-mill boy-girl relationships. It makes my insides convulse and I can almost taste the bile rising up my throat, seriously. I felt like shouting whenever people give me the sidelong glances in shopping malls, or when kolot Malays screamed at us coz we kissed in the airport. Pfft. Get a life. We're not the ones screwing siblings and grandmothers now, are we?
But I know better now. Doesn't matter, all these stuff. Coz as long as I am sure of what I'm doing, who gives a damn what others think.
Just coz I'm young doesn't mean I dunno what I'm doing.
