Was checking my gmail in the morning as usual, and already there were about ten forwarded emails from colleagues, mostly funny videos they nicked off the internet or mildly heart-warming emails about friendship and what it reaaally means to be a friend to others. There was once a funny video clip on wedding bloopers that was so funny I involuntarily laughed out loud before trying to cover it up by coughing profusely.
But I digress.
Always ready to welcome any distractions from work, I clicked through them one by one, downloading amateur magic trick video clips and salivating over images of beautiful food art using all kinds of chocolate and cakes. It literally makes my stomach growl just looking at professionally-taken photos of gourmet foods they always forward around. And nothing brings me crashing down to reality as quickly as a glance at my lunch sitting pathetically inside my drawer – store-bought bread (but they’re freshly baked everyday! So it claims on the plastic bags). Or rice with hard-boiled eggs, when I feel like spoiling myself a little.
But again, I digress.
I got to this forward email with a pretty ambiguous title: XXXtreme Sports. But then again, most forwarded mails possess ambiguous titles, as if the people who started it wanted to make sure the mystery remains as you eagerly anticipate for the contents.
Anyway. XXXtreme Sports. It was a video clip without any foreword or explanation, which is also pretty common in forwarded emails, so I downloaded the clip without a second thought. It was probably about a new kind of extreme sport some adrenaline addict came up with.
Or so I thought. Initially there was a guy and a girl hanging off a cliff, with all the gear in place, harness and all. OK, something to do with cliff-hanging, perhaps? Then the camera zoomed in and it was unmistakeable what they were doing. The girl was giving the guy a blowjob (proving that harnesses do not restrict blood flow to your nether regions, as widely believed). Before they changed positions and started having sex. In mid-air. While holding onto their ropes for dear life.
I closed the clip as soon as it dawned upon me that they were going to try other positions while dangling precariously over a deep canyon. I didn’t realize how horrified I must’ve looked until my friend who sits in front of me peered at me over her computer screen, her eyebrow raised curiously. I opened up a file in front of me and pretended to read.
I’ve probably watched porn like, three times in my entire life, and none of the times did I do it knowingly. 1. Found a tape in aunt’s room when alone with cousin, cousin insisted that we watch the forbidden tape. 2. Found a friend’s porn stash on PC. 3. Clicked on forwarded mail with terribly misleading title sent by fellow colleague in the middle of a workday.
And every time I feel like I have to wash my entire body with Dettol after watching the stuff. Call me uptight or just sitting too damn comfortable on my high horse, I stay away from porn for a number of reasons.
And I do not like being tricked into watching porn. Somebody please, get me some Optrex.
Now the disgusting images feel like they’ve been burnt into my memory for life! And it makes me think… for people who’ve watched porn way more than I have, do all the images retain in their brains? That’s a pretty unsettling thought…
Am I overreacting? It’s just porn. Almost every guy I know admits to having watched porn. The nicest people I know fall into prey to vices like porn. Porn can’t be that bad if it helped motivate the creation of the internet, as sung by the Warcraft characters on the official porn theme song(♪The internet is for porn♪). No wait, that was a silly clip with an annoyingly catchy tune (♪The internet is for porn♪).
Know what, I don’t care if I’m overreacting. Mass-forwarding porn is just tacky.
