I've only just come to realize this, but I'm surrounded by disappointed women. Women who have given the best part of their lives to men who let them down in the end, turn them from bright-eyed hopefuls to bitter cynics who scorns at anyone who believes they have a shot at true love.
Story No. 1
Girl dated the guy for years till he got a job transfer to a distant country. He'd asked her to marry her, she wasn't ready and decided to go LDR first. By the time she found a job in the country he was in, and got ready to move over there, he changed his mind and broke up with her. But she's decided to take up the job offer anyway, which was how I met her. She stays with another female friend and six cats.
Story No. 2
High school sweethearts since the age of 18, until the guy left to find better job opportunities in the other end of the world. They promised to wait for each other, until she found out that he met someone much younger on the departing flight, and had been cheating on her since the day he left. They officially broke up at age 34. She got married the year after to another high school mate who'd come back from Ireland o propose to her. They have two kids together, but she's seldom home because the faithful husband would take care of everything, no questions asked. She treats the husband the way one would treat fruit flies hovering over ripe bananas, and prefers spending the night singing karaoke with colleagues and friends.
Story No. 3
Got married after a couple years of serious dating, and they have a child together second year into the marriage. Husband cheated on her one day, they got divorced, and now she's staying with her parents with her 10-year-old daughter.
All of these women are smart, confident, working individuals. And I doubt any of them started off their relationships expecting to be cheated on, or betrayed by the men they'd chosen to be with. These women made their choices with logic and reason in their minds, not with butterflies in their stomachs.
And it got me thinking - if logic and rationality failed these women, what becomes of me, a person whose actions and decisions are generally dictated by emotion when it comes to love? Afterall, following one's mind is generally considered an admirable and right thing to do, as opposed to following one's heart.
What are my chances of surviving!?
In my defense, I do think things through before I plunge headfirst into a relationship. But even in the midst of reasoning and debating within myself, I know that the warm fuzzy feelings will be vocal enough to drown out all opposing thoughts.
Meaning I'll have a winning argument for every cold, hard fact that goes against my emotional needs and wants. And I've paid some heavy prices for my reckless decisions.
Am I fighting a losing battle here?
