profile Firmly believes in life after death. Secretly addicted to Gossip Girl & ATNM (oh, the shame). Finds painting own nails therapeutic. Takes an eternity to make a decision. Likes to swim. Fancies self as seasoned chef in manner of Masaharu Morimoto. Hates driving during rush hour. Feels happiest waking up to bright sunny mornings. Is afraid of cockroaches and balloons. Dislikes awkward silence. Buys too many dresses and not enough comfortable shoes. Is convinced that people only appreciate what they have to work hard for. tagboard archives February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 August 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 skin by: Jane |
Thursday, October 30, 2008 @ 4:19 PM
Take A Break, Have a Mental Kit-Kat This is the first time I've been able to blog at this new workplace. Not from the lack of work, but because I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS PLACE MENTALLY IF NOT PHYSICALLY. I hope my hair doubles its length by this Christmas. Hey, a girl can dream. I saw some photos that kinda disturbed me last night, but I can only blame myself because I wasn't even supposed to be looking in the first place. I wonder why colleagues treat you better after you've quit the company and they become your ex-colleagues. Maybe it's a sign of relief on their part? I've yet to reply my cousin's SMS invitation to join a group date with Japanese people. How do you explain to a desperate relative who's dying to meet a clone of his ex-girlfriend because the ex wouldn't move out of Japan for him that it is unfair to his current girlfriend who loves him enough to travel from Kuantan to meet him every weekend? I wonder what it must be like to have your own family and your own home. I went to my brother and Michelle's new home in Puchong the other night for dinner, and I couldn't help but feel inspired by them, maybe even a twinge of longing?. They're embarking on a new phase in their lives together - a place of their own, a baby of their own. I'm sure they have their share of problems, but the only emotion I saw radiating from their faces as they laughed over their baby's cute antics was contentment. Of where they are at the moment, and believing that it will be enough to pull them through. Baby Samuel kept staring at the boyfriend! It was the cutest thing ever. Samuel actually ducked past any objects blocking his vision to peer at the boyfriend whenever he could. Nothing could distract him. But he still prefers Auntie Cinny to hold him, of course. That is non-negotiable. I meant the baby, not the boyfriend. =P Back to work... @ 2:59 PM
Heartburn, be gone! I've had gastric (heartburn) problems since I was sixteen. Was admitted into a hospital twice because of it, but I've learnt to live with it. Technically, I've figured out the kind of circumstances where I am most likely to experience gastricitis, even though lately it's becoming annoyingly frequent and unpredictable. Which is why I keep a steady supply of heartburn medication at the dressing drawer, and I always make sure there's some in my miscellaneous case inside my handbag (altho sometimes I do neglect to replace the ones I've taken, and have to beat myself up when the first pangs of pain kick in). I'm not sure why, but I've never seriously asked God to take away this... illness? disease? from me. Somehow I figured it wasn't life-threatening enough to bring up. Until I listened to this pastor the other day during Sunday service. My stomach was beginning to experience the familiar, unwelcomed discomfort, and I was about to reach into my bag for the med when the pastor started praying aloud for the Lord's healing hands to be upon all who were suffering from heart diseases, flu, pains, etc etc. I've heard it all before, but it was the first time it even occurred to me that my gastric pains could be healed permanently as well; all I need to do was ask. (I am aware that up till not this is more proof of how dim in the head I can get, rather than it being a testimony of God's diving intervention, but hear me out.) So I said a simple prayer under my breath, to be rid of this inconvenient and sometimes unbearably painful occurrences once and for all. The praying ended and the pastor proceeded to the holy communion. The pain was still there, but it wasnt unbearable. I took the bread and wine from the usher and waited. After the prayer, I ate the bread, drank the wine... and it happened. The pain vanished so quick I had to wonder if I'd imagined it in the first place. Normally the pain will only subside at least an hour after I'd taken the medication, but never like this. The pain didn't subside - it disappeared. The stark contrast between increasing pain and discomfort to a completely healthy state of...painlessness? left me a little disoriented, and without thinking I rubbed my stomach with both hands. No sign of any bloating or incessant growling. The boyfriend saw me touching my stomach and asked if I was ok. Is it gastric again? Nope, I beamed at him, shaking my head for emphasis. Never felt better. Wednesday, October 29, 2008 @ 10:43 PM
Women & Love I've only just come to realize this, but I'm surrounded by disappointed women. Women who have given the best part of their lives to men who let them down in the end, turn them from bright-eyed hopefuls to bitter cynics who scorns at anyone who believes they have a shot at true love. Story No. 1 Girl dated the guy for years till he got a job transfer to a distant country. He'd asked her to marry her, she wasn't ready and decided to go LDR first. By the time she found a job in the country he was in, and got ready to move over there, he changed his mind and broke up with her. But she's decided to take up the job offer anyway, which was how I met her. She stays with another female friend and six cats. Story No. 2 High school sweethearts since the age of 18, until the guy left to find better job opportunities in the other end of the world. They promised to wait for each other, until she found out that he met someone much younger on the departing flight, and had been cheating on her since the day he left. They officially broke up at age 34. She got married the year after to another high school mate who'd come back from Ireland o propose to her. They have two kids together, but she's seldom home because the faithful husband would take care of everything, no questions asked. She treats the husband the way one would treat fruit flies hovering over ripe bananas, and prefers spending the night singing karaoke with colleagues and friends. Story No. 3 Got married after a couple years of serious dating, and they have a child together second year into the marriage. Husband cheated on her one day, they got divorced, and now she's staying with her parents with her 10-year-old daughter. All of these women are smart, confident, working individuals. And I doubt any of them started off their relationships expecting to be cheated on, or betrayed by the men they'd chosen to be with. These women made their choices with logic and reason in their minds, not with butterflies in their stomachs. And it got me thinking - if logic and rationality failed these women, what becomes of me, a person whose actions and decisions are generally dictated by emotion when it comes to love? Afterall, following one's mind is generally considered an admirable and right thing to do, as opposed to following one's heart. What are my chances of surviving!? In my defense, I do think things through before I plunge headfirst into a relationship. But even in the midst of reasoning and debating within myself, I know that the warm fuzzy feelings will be vocal enough to drown out all opposing thoughts. Meaning I'll have a winning argument for every cold, hard fact that goes against my emotional needs and wants. And I've paid some heavy prices for my reckless decisions. Am I fighting a losing battle here? @ 9:23 PM
My New Job I tend to get into a bind when people ask me about my new job. People seemed stumped by the term 'media coordination company'. It sounds legit, but what the heck does it really do? It's like Brie de Meaux; it sounds atas but it really just means cheese. I don't blame them. I wasn't so sure myself either. All I knew was that they deal with TV production companies, mostly Japanese, that are interested in doing a show segment or documentary of some sort or promotional clip in Malaysia. I went through their list of clients and I knew I wanted to be on board. Most of the companies were major TV networks that produces Japanese shows and news that I used to download when I was still in the states. The first thing we do when companies approach us is we get a rough summary of what and where they want to shoot, and then handle all their official documentations like media passes, temporary work permits, visas when necessary so they don't get deported the moment they reach Malaysia. Next would be location hunting, which is a fancy term for driving all over town to check out the places they want to film and And we handle their transportation, meal and hotel arrangements too, of course. Basically we are their babysitters during their stay in Malaysia, making things work smoothly and efficiently coz everyone's on a tight budget and schedule, and dealing with the locals for them due to the language barrier. And we have to go along with the film crew wherever they go, be it camping out to wait for the bats at the Mulu Caves or hiking through the Sabah forests for a huge stinky flower (Rafflesia). That's why we're called the coordinators. Of coz, if you look at our name cards properly, we don't just do media coordination. There's also translations and interpretations (translation: written, interpretation: verbal), which I've more familiar with. Basically we get translation requests from embassies, companies, or individuals who need some documents translated from one language to another. If it's within my capability (English, Malay - questionable but girl's gotta do what she's gotta do, Chinese - ditto, Japanese) I'll be given the job, but if now we'll assign them to some freelancer associated with us. Same goes for interpretations. Most interpretation jobs are for company meetings, conferences and whatnot. I've been to two assignments so far since my old job (I had to interpret at at least once a week back then), and let me just say this - I am ready to head butt the next person that belittles an interpreter's job. Contrary to ignorant beliefs, interpreting is NOT just listening and talking. You try having to understand business or technical discussions COMPLETELY OUTSIDE YOUR KNOWLEDGE FIELD and explaining it in an entirely different language to a person that is most probably sitting uncomfortably close to you and hanging on to your every word in order to catch up with the ongoing conversation. But that's a ranting for another day. =P Do I like my job? I know I learn a ton of stuff I never knew even existed in our society, and I've been to places I've never been despite having spent almost a quarter of a 100 years in Malaysia. And I'm finally getting to know my way around KL city without getting lost too often. And the workplace is actually a chic (on the outside anyway) bungalow mansion that's a three-minute walk from BSC (Bangsar Shopping Complex) and a five-minute drive from Bangsar Village. And I get free home-cooked meals for lunch, free tea and sometimes fruit during breaktime (all part of the employee welfare thing). And an Indonesian maid who does the dishes. And free parking right inside the bungalow compounds. What's there to not like? The longer hours? The inconvenient working hours that places me smack in the middle of rush hour traffic? Having to go out in the insane heat during errand runs or location huntings? The loud, boisterous colleagues that constantly threatens to endanger my eardrums? The fact that there are only five over-utilized employees in total running the entire company? But I'll take it all in a stride. The less people there is, the more I'm responsible for. Comparing this with my previous job, I get much more input in the things that happen in the company. My opinions matter, and my decisions and mistakes are mine to make. The lady boss specifically told me that I am to do so, and that it wasn't necessary to rely on her whenever a decision needs to be made. She knows I'm bound to screw up sometime, but that's just how I'm gonna have to learn. Back in my old job, the biggest decision I had to make was to decide whether to make tea or coffee for the VIP guests. And I had to fill out a form to request for a stapler. Nevertheless, t's too early to tell whether I'll honestly love this job or not, but getting my paycheck today was motivation enough to stay positive. Heh. Although this time around, I can't help feeling like it's hard-earned money. I worked my anatomy off these couple of weeks! In my previous job, I felt almost guilty for taking that amount of money from them for doing the type of job I was doing. I said almost. ;) @ 4:14 PM
Boyfriend Withdrawal Symptoms There's no other logical explanation. Filled my water bottle before I head out for work and my eyes burnt with fresh tears. He always boiled the water and leave the jug on the dining table. Both the kettle and jug were filled. Got into my car to find my windscreen strangely blurred and my vision worsened through the brimming tears. He'd just cleaned the car and waxed the screens for me. Caught a glimpse of the BN logo on top of its building during an outside work assignment and choked with tears. He has a BN cap hanging from his bathroom door. Peeked out of the window at night to find the porch empty and almost turned into a sobbing mess. His car won't be parked here for the rest of the week. Stepped into his room to watch Desperate Housewives and my throat tightened involuntarily. He usually greets me with a grin when I come in. It's irrational and stupid, what I'm feeling, and I'm almost embarrassed by it. But I don't care anymore. The bed feels too damn big without the boyfriend. Thursday, October 09, 2008 @ 12:20 PM
Forwarded Emails Was checking my gmail in the morning as usual, and already there were about ten forwarded emails from colleagues, mostly funny videos they nicked off the internet or mildly heart-warming emails about friendship and what it reaaally means to be a friend to others. There was once a funny video clip on wedding bloopers that was so funny I involuntarily laughed out loud before trying to cover it up by coughing profusely. But I digress. Always ready to welcome any distractions from work, I clicked through them one by one, downloading amateur magic trick video clips and salivating over images of beautiful food art using all kinds of chocolate and cakes. It literally makes my stomach growl just looking at professionally-taken photos of gourmet foods they always forward around. And nothing brings me crashing down to reality as quickly as a glance at my lunch sitting pathetically inside my drawer – store-bought bread (but they’re freshly baked everyday! So it claims on the plastic bags). Or rice with hard-boiled eggs, when I feel like spoiling myself a little. But again, I digress. I got to this forward email with a pretty ambiguous title: XXXtreme Sports. But then again, most forwarded mails possess ambiguous titles, as if the people who started it wanted to make sure the mystery remains as you eagerly anticipate for the contents. Anyway. XXXtreme Sports. It was a video clip without any foreword or explanation, which is also pretty common in forwarded emails, so I downloaded the clip without a second thought. It was probably about a new kind of extreme sport some adrenaline addict came up with. Or so I thought. Initially there was a guy and a girl hanging off a cliff, with all the gear in place, harness and all. OK, something to do with cliff-hanging, perhaps? Then the camera zoomed in and it was unmistakeable what they were doing. The girl was giving the guy a blowjob (proving that harnesses do not restrict blood flow to your nether regions, as widely believed). Before they changed positions and started having sex. In mid-air. While holding onto their ropes for dear life. I closed the clip as soon as it dawned upon me that they were going to try other positions while dangling precariously over a deep canyon. I didn’t realize how horrified I must’ve looked until my friend who sits in front of me peered at me over her computer screen, her eyebrow raised curiously. I opened up a file in front of me and pretended to read. I’ve probably watched porn like, three times in my entire life, and none of the times did I do it knowingly. 1. Found a tape in aunt’s room when alone with cousin, cousin insisted that we watch the forbidden tape. 2. Found a friend’s porn stash on PC. 3. Clicked on forwarded mail with terribly misleading title sent by fellow colleague in the middle of a workday. And every time I feel like I have to wash my entire body with Dettol after watching the stuff. Call me uptight or just sitting too damn comfortable on my high horse, I stay away from porn for a number of reasons. And I do not like being tricked into watching porn. Somebody please, get me some Optrex. Now the disgusting images feel like they’ve been burnt into my memory for life! And it makes me think… for people who’ve watched porn way more than I have, do all the images retain in their brains? That’s a pretty unsettling thought… Am I overreacting? It’s just porn. Almost every guy I know admits to having watched porn. The nicest people I know fall into prey to vices like porn. Porn can’t be that bad if it helped motivate the creation of the internet, as sung by the Warcraft characters on the official porn theme song(♪The internet is for porn♪). No wait, that was a silly clip with an annoyingly catchy tune (♪The internet is for porn♪). Know what, I don’t care if I’m overreacting. Mass-forwarding porn is just tacky. |