The boyfriend and I have gone on to another level in our relationship. It’s been a mental struggle for me, going back and forth with my decision, a constant battle between what I want and what is right. What if everything changes after we did it? What happens if we never can see each other the way we used to after doing it? Will it strengthen our relationship, or ruin whatever we have worked all along to preserve?
This step could possibly change the dynamics of our entire relationship, and all I can hope for is that the change is for the better and not for worse. I didn’t feel rational enough to make the decision myself, and yet there wasn’t anyone I could talk to about such a private and potentially embarrassing topic.
I finally took the plunge without having reached any concrete solutions. Some things you just have to forge ahead and not overthink them.
So I let the boyfriend join me in the fitting room when I was trying on clothes in the mall.
It happened so naturally, and so quickly. One moment I was walking towards the changing rooms with a blue top in my arm, and the next thing you know we were
tearing each other’s clothes off having mad- enclosed in a cubicle together, him sitting on the bench, grinning ear to ear like a cat that’s chanced upon Tweety Bird, and me staring at myself in the mirror, wondering if I was rushing into things. As casually as I’d invited him into the fitting room, it was a big step for me.
But the boyfriend couldn’t have been more thoughtful throughout the whole process; gentle enough to keep me relaxed, sensitive toward my needs and requests. We completely connected on a different level, a sense of intimacy like nothing I have ever encountered.
My first time trying on clothes in front of the boyfriend in a public fitting room, and I'll never forget every minute of it.
