We’d just moved to a new house, and everything was still all over the place, but the beds were set up, cupboards and drawers were placed neatly, toilets were cleaned and scrubbed, so we were good for the moment.
There was a surprisingly long fleet of stairs, and as I followed it all the way up I realized the house had three floors. That's strange, I thought to myself as I approached the door to the only bedroom on the top floor. I thought the house we’d gotten was a two-storey one.
I found the boyfriend sitting on the edge of the bed inside the room, talking on the phone animatedly. He looked up and gave me a brief smile as I wandered in.
The door on my left was slightly opened, so I pushed it further and found myself in the bathroom…
Staring at the biggest lizard/iguana thing I have ever laid eyes on my entire life.
It had dirty yellow scales all over, with a smattering of brown on its claws and belly. Its grotesque head was perched on top of its rough body, and the sinister slits where its eyes should be were focused right at me. I wanted to run away but froze instead, unsure if any slight movement would unhinge the creepy crawlie.
Then its tongue sprang out of its lipless mouth. I broke out of my panic spell and ran out of the bathroom for help.
But the boyfriend was still on the phone, oblivious to my distress. I waited next to him for a while, barely holding back my urge to shriek like a banshee on caffeine but still keeping an eye on the bathroom door, which I’d forgotten to lock shut before sprinting out of.
The boyfriend couldn't get off the phone, “it’s an important call” he mouthed silently to me and turned away. Baffled by his lack of concern, I was about to burst into tears when I saw scaly, dirty head dart out of the bathroom door.
The end was near.
I made a mad dash to the door and raced down the stairs without looking back. I knew the Giant Lizard was right at my heels, I could sense it…
Especially when it jumped off the stairs and landed right on my back, its claws sinking deep and hard into my skin. I couldn't figure out which was worse – the icky sensation of having physical contact with a leathery reptile or the mind-numbing fear of having my skin literally torn off my back.
I wrestled with it as best as I could without having to touch the scales, but it wouldn't budge at all. Exhausted, I fell sideways onto the floor to take a breather. It crawled off me and went off the opposite direction as if the battle for my life never happened.
Slightly insulted, I got up and dusted off the loose scales left my clothes, detecting a stomach-churning lizard stench. I thought the crazy old reptile had peed on me or something, until I felt something cold and leathery crawl past my toes…
There were at least thirty of those crawling lizards scattered throughout the ground floor, their tongues sliding in and out of their mouths, crawling slowly as if in search for something…
I yelled frantically for the boyfriend but he only yelled back to say that he was still on the phone. How could he not realize that the house was infested with obese lizards?! I wanted to scream, but then I heard a faint ringing…
The boyfriend switched off the alarm clock and rubbed his face deeper into his pillow. The room was dark and quiet – no signs of oversized lizards anywhere.
Then I remembered the movie we watched last night and let out an audible groan.
Land of the Lost.
And the crickets making a ruckus in Gonzales'(housemate's iguana) cage right outside my room in the middle of the night sure didn't help.
