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Firmly believes in life after death. Secretly addicted to Gossip Girl & ATNM (oh, the shame). Finds painting own nails therapeutic. Takes an eternity to make a decision. Likes to swim. Fancies self as seasoned chef in manner of Masaharu Morimoto. Hates driving during rush hour. Feels happiest waking up to bright sunny mornings. Is afraid of cockroaches and balloons. Dislikes awkward silence. Buys too many dresses and not enough comfortable shoes. Is convinced that people only appreciate what they have to work hard for.


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skin by: Jane
Tuesday, April 21, 2009 @ 12:36 PM
Marmalade

The evening sunlight spilled through the huge windows, paying no heed to the sheer, lacy curtains fluttering gently against the glass. White, homey tables and chairs, a long glass display exposing glorious cakes, dainty cupcakes and scones, a colorful mural wall with paintings of trees and birds and butterflies – everything seemed to be set in slow motion, bathing in a warm, relaxed glow that seemed out of place in the city. A few customers were scattered throughout the spacious dining area, the atmosphere unhurried, peaceful.

I turned to the man sitting next to me, his crisp purple sleeves folded neatly up to his elbows, his company tag still hung over his collared neck. He was picking on toffee-drenched bananas slices on top of the Banofee cake. I let out a sigh, my heart so full it felt ready to burst. I wanted to etch this moment, every seemingly unremarkable moment of this day into my memory, to be able to revisit this feeling. I wished I could somehow bottle up this concoction of happiness, peace, contentment that I chanced upon today.

Sitting in the car, listening to the Pagi crew’s crazy antics, catching each other’s eyes and laughing even though we were stuck in morning traffic.

Finding his car waiting right outside, he waiting patiently with an elbow resting on the window edge. Filling each other with details of our day at work as soon as I clasped my seatbelt shut.

Having a dinner date on a working Monday. Now. This very moment, slurping on a Paw Paw Passion in a restaurant I’d wanted to try for months, fretting over the pesto flecks stuck in between my teeth after the boyfriend casually brought it to my attention.



Monday, April 20, 2009 @ 2:58 PM
It's the Pits

Do you love me enough to lick my armpits?



Sunday, April 19, 2009 @ 2:54 PM
My 'First Time'

The boyfriend and I have gone on to another level in our relationship. It’s been a mental struggle for me, going back and forth with my decision, a constant battle between what I want and what is right. What if everything changes after we did it? What happens if we never can see each other the way we used to after doing it? Will it strengthen our relationship, or ruin whatever we have worked all along to preserve?

This step could possibly change the dynamics of our entire relationship, and all I can hope for is that the change is for the better and not for worse. I didn’t feel rational enough to make the decision myself, and yet there wasn’t anyone I could talk to about such a private and potentially embarrassing topic.

I finally took the plunge without having reached any concrete solutions. Some things you just have to forge ahead and not overthink them.

So I let the boyfriend join me in the fitting room when I was trying on clothes in the mall.

It happened so naturally, and so quickly. One moment I was walking towards the changing rooms with a blue top in my arm, and the next thing you know we were tearing each other’s clothes off having mad- enclosed in a cubicle together, him sitting on the bench, grinning ear to ear like a cat that’s chanced upon Tweety Bird, and me staring at myself in the mirror, wondering if I was rushing into things. As casually as I’d invited him into the fitting room, it was a big step for me.

But the boyfriend couldn’t have been more thoughtful throughout the whole process; gentle enough to keep me relaxed, sensitive toward my needs and requests. We completely connected on a different level, a sense of intimacy like nothing I have ever encountered.

My first time trying on clothes in front of the boyfriend in a public fitting room, and I'll never forget every minute of it.



Friday, April 17, 2009 @ 3:28 PM
He's just not that into you

I finally watched the movie. And I liked it. Sweet but not cheesy, funny without being stupid.

And so, so true.

Not all of it, of course. I don’t believe MySpace is the new booty call, for starters.

But the scene where the three girls were gathered at Beth’s(Jennifer Aniston) desk, and Gigi came bustling in with-

MONALISA SMILE.

That’s where I’d seen that actress (Gigi) before! Gosh I’d been trying to recall that movie title since I left the cinema.

And Ben was the masochistic walking ego from Wedding Crashers, and Kelli Ann was one of the feather-brained girlfriends from White Chicks.

Feels good to finally get that off my mind. Not unlike how one feels after picking out that annoying piece of pie crust that was stuck in between your molars for half an hour.

To be honest, I’d started off wanting to dissect the movie and its theories, and complain about how exposed I feel after the movie because it was obviously an unauthorized documentary piece of my life, but then I figured the movie’s been reviewed and talked about to death so I’ll just settle with some of my favorite quotes from the movie:

‘I want to make you happy. I need to make you happy, in order to even have a shot at being happy myself.’

‘I need you to stop being nice to me unless you’re going to marry me.’

‘I love you. Even if I get pissed off, or angry or upset with you, I’ll never stop loving you.’

‘So am I the rule or the exception? - You’re my exception.’

‘Am I… will I be Al Pacino in this scenario?’

‘If you can find him, he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.’

OK one of these quotes doesn’t belong to the movie. Can you tell which one? Hehee~




Friday, April 10, 2009 @ 10:02 AM
A Good Day

Happy reason 1: Got a call from the Japanese language center that I passed the level test and am considered advanced level. Yatta~

Happy reason 2: Received RM200 worth of coupons from Jusco and Robinsons from lady boss who redeemed those coupons through credit card reward system.

Happy reason 3: Got to leave work half an hour early, which was perfect because had job interview directly after work. Managed to avoid major traffic and found interview venue without any hiccups. Thank God!

Happy reason 4: Job interview at ad agency was relaxed, interviewer was amicable and laidback. Final outcome will be in a week’s time, but consider this good start for new job hunt even if not offered any job.

Happy reason 5: Boyfriend switched cars with me. Am particularly elated by this because driving boyfriend’s car feels near orgasmic after two weeks of driving cumbersome, faulty Waja (although am terribly grateful to even have a car to commute). Gotta love that man. ^-^




Thursday, April 09, 2009 @ 11:28 AM
Bread

Someone took my bread. Not a negligible, RM1.20 red bean bun, or a couple slices of Gardenia bread, but a full-sized gourmet bread with ham and cheese and dried tomatoes that was supposed to be my lunch for the next day.

Housemates share things. Sometime we steal some peanut butter in desperation, or a scoop of laundry detergent when we run out. I get it. Or sometimes we buy something extra like chocolates or bananas and give each other the heads up that it’s ok to grab one. Give and take right.

But this is out of the line. I don’t buy bread to leave it hanging around for all to take at their free will. I survive on these things during weekdays.

And to take the best one I was saving for last… the most expensive one, my favorite one…

*Wails* I want my bread back.



Monday, April 06, 2009 @ 4:13 PM
warm, fuzzy drink

I woke up to a stinging pain at the back of my throat, sore and dry. The walls appeared pink from the evening light trying to make it through the red curtains; everything was quiet except for the sound of the ceiling fan moving rhythmically. I pushed away the blanket and sat up, still groggy from the medication. My throat felt like I’d swallowed a bag of nails, the pain spreading to my jaws so excruciating tears formed behind my eyes against my will. I searched around desperately for my water bottle, the red gloominess of the room fueling my grey thoughts of self-pity and misery, half-hoping for a warm, soothing drink to appear somehow...

I heard him before I could see him. The door creaked open, letting in the light from the living room to fill in the dark spaces of the room. Holding a bowl with both hands, the boyfriend walked in and laid down the bowl carefully onto the desk beside me. Drink, he said in a mock-commando tone. I scooted over to see what he’d brought in. It was barley with lo hon guo.

Sigh. I feel so blessed sometimes it scares me.